To Hand and to Fold

On of my biggest fears, greatest insecurities and strangest fixations is my hands.

I have to put it frankly, giant drag queen hulk-like pianist hands, always have. They served me well in my piano playing days and jumping multiple octaves was never too big of a feat (unfortunatley my large hands simply could not compensate for laziness...piano playing days, exit stage left)

They have not however served me very well as a designer/seamstress. So many things would be easier with smaller hands, sometimes I lay awake at night making lists in my head about all the things I could sew with tinier hands, I might embroider more with tiny finger, I might be better at making pleats or draping with the Madame Gres method.

You know those days when you just feel reassured, when you go to bed and realize you were hit with the realization once more that you were where you were supposed to be, are where you're supposed to be; and even if that moment only last two thirds of a second before you return to your normal anxious existence, it makes you smile for a moment, or write a blog post perhaps.

I had one today, I was helping a friend try on an 18th century historical corset she was making and I realized how much more difficult this would be if I had tinier hands, how incredibly hard forcing an already tiny girl into an excessively tiny garment and pinning it with giant, finger piercing pins would be if I was any tinier than I am (not). It was only brief, and I'm not going into corsetry any time soon but it was a realization that I'm where I'm meant to be doing what I'm meant to be doing and even if I have to ask a friend to help my untangle thread from the tiny spaces near the bobbin there are things I can do too.

Fashion is an industry dominated by men for crying out loud, certainly there's a place for my man-sized hands!