Interplanetary Soccer and World Peace

A dream I had while on holiday in Fiji.

I was an Intergalactic Space Ranger, sent out in my one person spaceflyer to keep tabs on unfriendly or questionable systems and planets for the Alliance. Apparently I hadn't been flying long because I had quite a bit of trouble navigating.

North-west is the deep sea

South is...well Texas

At least that's what my father told me as a child. Not such sage council when flying interplanetary routes.

First stop Legoland, one of the flat planets, built on a bright green Lego board and made entirely of Lego bricks. It was truly disturbing, billions of people watching football (not the helmets and pads kind) for days, weeks even! Like a gladiator sport, the losing team lost their heads. The more decapitations followed the easier they became; easier in a most literal sense; easy like pop the head off a Legoman easy.

As the people of Legoland indulged in their bloodthirsty revelry their heartless condition was gradually turning them into the Lego bricks and mortar from which their city was made.

I turned my ships stealth mode on and began to take notes, suddenly in front of my window out pops the vice chancellor of Legoland, screaming his flesh colored, morbidly shaped, Lego brick head off. I didn't hear what he said from inside my ship but I was promptly "escorted" off the planet by his bombers.

My flying skill had improved remarkable by this point and I had the sudden desire to be a Blue Angel. No time for such thoughts, some fancy maneuvers put me on the Red Light planet, named not only for it reddish 'Ayers Rock had a baby with Red Rocks' tinge, but also for the livelihood of it's very beautiful inhabitants.

The beautiful men and women of the Red Light Planet were also avid footballers, with their losing teams having to service the galaxy indefinitely. A practice frowned on by the Alliance whose constitution stated that sex work, and football for that matter, was to be a voluntary practice.

My task, to arrange an end to the madness, a cessation of the craziness, a finale, a denouement.

I was to facilitate a football tournament between the heartless, and increasingly bloodless, occupants of Legoland, and the horrifyingly beautiful and morally gray Red Light inhabitants.

Don't ask me how that was going to fix things, I'm just a space ranger flying across the galaxy doing the will of the Alliance (who I am beginning to suspect is my subconscious).

I'd tell you how it ended but I don't really know, when I mentioned the plan to some Red Lighters they got very very angry and then everything went black.