Thought soup

The thoughts are pouring through my head like they did once before, twice before. A million times at once before.

I can't process, there's no time and it makes my heart so sad. I can't focus, can't fix this the racing of my head. I'm scared that' it'll go away like it did once before, when I was left once before alone with nothing like never before.

But it's back and I hope it stays for good, I feel relief in this anxiety, feel relaxed in this mind numbing frenzy on the inside. It's strange because it's so painful. But my favorite kind of painful, inspired hurts from wounds created by sharp images nicking your subconscious as they whiz by too fast to be read and understood and grasped. I catch one and try to examine it, process, develop it into something concrete but then I am distracted by the whirring over-head, inner-head, entire-head and I can't hold onto the thought strong enough before it flies out of my grasp yanked from my hold to rejoin the massive blur ahead.